When I grew up in the South, I was taught that black women did not do deviant things in the bed-room. I held true to that line of thinking for years that even cost me my marriage, because the strippers would do things that my ex would never ask me to do in the bed-room. One night when I confronted him as he packed his weekend bag to be with her, I asked him why. His answer floored me. He told me that I did not do anal or oral among other things and revealed that having sex with me was like fucking a relative (no interest).
I cried for the whole weekend and when he returned I tried to be that whore that he desired, but it was too late, I was a novice and my competition was a pro. I went so far as to offer a threesome He passed on the idea and avoid a conversation about counseling. Within the same month, I was served with divorce papers at work.
One night me and my African-American girlfriends went out to dinner and I shared with them the reason for my divorce. I had known three of the ladies had been divorced but had no clue about the reason until that conversation. They experienced the same thing I did and as a result, they too were divorced, single, and lonely. Two of the other women laughed and let us know about buying into the bullshit.
They used the philosophy that during slavery master did what the hell he wanted to the women and therefore the women tried to please him. No matter about the overtones of degradation, the white master kept wanting that same ga; over and over. They looked at husbands being the same way, you do something for them that keep them at home then there is no need to stray. One of the two ladies openly said that she loved the sensation of feeling her husband’s semen in her anus and the taste of sperm on her lips.
We gasped at the table, but one thing that we could not deny, they had been married for years and all of us failed after the second year. We also learned from the two women that communications was key and by shutting the man down and saying you are not into certain sexual experiences was in many cases a del-breaker
They warned us about following a book that was written centuries ago by people no one knew about how people should behave when they did the same thing during that time. From that conversation forward, the men I have dated since have been fulfilling and I have open my eyes to better opportunities. Never again will I say that old childish statement “That’s nasty!”